Remorse.

"Wasn't summer what you longed for?" I've asked myself this question ever since summer started.


This unexplained regret is continuing to haunt me.
I know where I went wrong.
I know I did not handle it very maturely, neither did you.
I know my pride got in the way.

My guard went up a little too quickly. But that's just my defense mechanism.
It's hard for me to accept things, it happens at a gradual, rather slow pace.

I know i'm not your cornerstone, rather a hindrance.
Perhaps a mere and insignificant option that you'll never end up choosing.

I can understand that you tried, you even fulfilled a previous promise that in the end, I end up breaking.
An explanation to you is somewhat necessary to me. But now that time is running out again, I'm unsure if you'll ever get to hear it.

Full circle.

 

If life was about coming full circle, does that mean in the end everyone ends up as strangers to one another again?

"Don't, don't let it go to your head"

"Cause I'm a wishful thinker with the worst intentions"

"Maybe I should hate you for this,

If only you knew half as much as you pretend to" 

You're So Last Summer| Taking Back Sunday

A realization.

I came to realize that I hate knowing when people will leave. I mean don't you hate it when there's some sort of "expiry date" of your time with someone? It can be so melancholy to know such things. I guess ignorance is really bliss after all. 

Another realization; Julian Casablancas is such a sexy rockstar.

Enjoy Undercover of Darkness, with Spanish subtitles (just to indicate my loyalties in Euro '12)

Slip back out of whack at your best.
It's a nightmare,
So I'm joining the army.

No house phones, but can i still call?
Will you wait for me now?

We got the right to live, fight to use it,
Got everything but you can just choose it
I won't just be a puppet on a string

Don't go that way.
I'll wait for you.

And I'm tired of all your friends
Listening at your door
I want, what's better for you,

So long, my friend and adversary.
But I'll wait for you.

Get dressed, jump out of bed and do it best.
Are you OK?
I've been out around this town
Everybody's singing the same song for ten years.

I'll wait for you.
Will you wait for me too?

And they sacrifice their lives
In our land are all closed eyes.
They've said it a billion times and they'll say it again.
So long my adversary and friend.

Don't go that way.
I'll wait for you.
I'm tired of all your friends,
Knocking down your door.
Get up in the morning, yelling no more,
So long, my friend and adversary.
I'll wait for you.

The power of some Pixie dust.

It says most of it.

I'm sincerely sorry.

Obviously oblivious.

Caught off guard indeed.
Surreal? Oh heck yeah.

It didn't feel like it was reality at that moment.
I couldn't think straight.
It was hard process it and it's still hard to fathom it now.

An ounce of regret;
An ounce of unexplained regret.

Oblivion is something we're both good at I guess.

Out of hands.

Even an A- is out of the question.

Gah.

For a split second.

"When your friends have great news, you're happy for them for like a millisecond and then you start thinking about yourself"

- Ted Mosby, How I Met Your Mother

We are all selfish human beings. Known fact.

And why can't I seem to get a good grade post-SPM?!

Uber frustrating. Self-frustration to the max.

Urgh.

Raise that white flag.

Trying times indeed.
I can't do this.