You're so dear to me I beg you not to leave me behind okay?

What they didn't teach me at school.

They taught me how to love God,
they taught me how to love my family
and they taught me how to love my friends.

They however, did not teach me how to deal with self-frustration,
or self-disappointment,
or even self-imposed mediocrity.

They also failed to teach me necessary measures to take for me to measure up (to social and academic standards).
Nor did they teach me ways to get out of this unending self-deprecating cycle.

Let me tell you, school taught me a whole lot of stuff like
how to love God,
how to love family,
how to love friends.

They however, did not teach me how to love myself,
And that's the hardest person to love.

A Good Cry.

I listen to sad songs for the sake of making my heart bleed. 

Your lips quiver, the lump in your throat starts to engulf your esophagus and it slowly reaches your chest and then it erupts. The dam has been broken and boy, its torrential. Then you mildly hyperventilate; like wind gusts in hurricanes in only intensifies the precipitation. And for a while it seems like the storm refuses to cease. The cold wind etches in your thorax bringing a hollow numbness. Slowly, it all subsides. The rims of eyes burn, and God at times that's the most satisfying sensations to be felt. 

And that is why I listen to sad songs; for that sake.

Done.

I've ran out of tak pe lahs,
next time thens,
it's cools,
and it's fines

because you know what?

it's not fine at all.

I could relate.

"I can't go back. I hate it there. 
And the weather's depressing and everyone's so smart"

"So are you"

"Yeah well, not like them"

"You don't understand. I started to feel alone, like scary alone"

-Amy Ellis, Parenthood 5.13

Standstill.

When others progress and you're at the same lousy spot.

If dreams really did reflect our deepest desires,

then I guess mine is to go home.

Record lows.

I can't shake this nagging thought while doing my meteorology notes: I regret this decision.
Of all those times in the past where i've been so spineless, why did I decide to build a backbone for the biggest transition of my life? I'm in dire need of a sense of belonging.

adorkable much.

It's a bad idea to get hooked on a tv show early on the semester. Focus woman, focus!

Disclamer: not my gif